“Consistency requires discipline. Force yourself out the door.” — Bob Glover and Shelly-Lynn Florence Glover, The Competitive Runner’s Handbook
Nothing so much describes tonight’s workout – a simple 4 mile regular run – as this quote. I struggled to get out the door, I struggled to keep going, I struggled to recover.
And what’s so surprising is that my miles on Monday seemed so easy when they should have been the challenging ones. Monday, I raced home from work, changed and dashed to the treadmill, knowing that I had only 45 minutes to get in my 3 miles, a shower, and a change of clothes to go out with friends. All that happened with a few minutes to spare. I was able to help Joe clean the table before Alice arrived for dinner.
Tonight? I was home early from CPA Day in Annapolis. Instead of doing my run immediately, I took a “quick nap” so I would be fresh. Then I was going to go out to run, but it was colder and more bitter than I had expected. Then I was going to go the gym – Joe was totally up for it – but I whined that it would be too busy at that time and I wouldn’t be able to stay on the treadmill uninterrupted. So I ended up back downstairs on the treadmill. Thank goodness for the treadmill, because without it I would have blown the whole thing off. Instead, I took my ipod with “The Shack” download, and headed downstairs. It was brutal. My body wanted nothing to do with running. It really wanted nothing to do with moving at all, actually.
But here’s the rub. I said I would do it. I did it. It wasn’t pretty. It was done.
I was whining once about not being ready for a class I had to teach. I had worked myself into a frenzy about this class. Someone said to me, “Will it get done?” I answered with the ever-useful, “Yes, but…” retort. To which she repeated, “but will it get done?” I had to admit that it would get done, but not to whatever standard I had set for myself. There was no time to do any more work, so I had to go with what I had. I taught the class, and no one seemed to notice whatever it was that I was afraid wasn’t good enough. No one stood up and shouted, “you suck!” No one, that is, except the person in my head.
Sometimes good enough has to be good enough. Sometimes doing a thing is an accomplishment in itself. Today feels like one of those days. Now I’ve had an amazingly good dinner (roast chicken, asparagus, sweet potato and onion), and I’ll be able to get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow morning will be a new start, and once again I’ll force myself out the door.