Perserverance -noun 1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
“Discouraged” is the understated description of my feelings the past 24 hours. After my blog on commitment, I promptly skipped my Thursday tempo run in favor of an extra 30 minutes in bed in the morning, a “geek” date with my husband, and early to bed last night. I did set myself up for success this morning: I pushed my 7:00 am meeting back to 7:30, so when I was up at 5:30 I had absolutely no excuses. I had skipped Thursday, but I still had an off day Friday to catch up.
To the treadmill downstairs I went – gym doesn’t open until 6:00. I pushed through an awful 30 minutes of uninspired running. But I did have a purpose and a goal, and I persevered. I did it.
How did perseverance feel? Fabulous and horrible, exhilerating and exhausting. Part of me wants to celebrate the fact that I did it at all, but the other part…I still have that negative voice trying to diminish any feeling of accomplishment because I want to judge the outcome. That voice is saying, “I didn’t do a tempo run; I barely did a regular run. You are a failure.”
But what voice have I decided to acknowledge? Well, according to my running storyboard, I am listening to the other, newer voice. It says I pushed through. Period. No judgment allowed. I did it, and I’ve never done it before. I found that courage to put together a very full day and work in a run to start my day. I’ll take that courage into all my “I can’t do” situations I find today. I will persevere.