I started the race feeling good, but not overconfident.  One fear almost immediately came true:  the left IT band was not really interested in running a marathon today.  The first 10k was really, really, really painful.  (Did I mention it was really painful?)  My fault for postponing making the appointment with a PT.  Around mile seven, the pain suddenly became bearable.

Then, I managed to somehow lock my Garmin.  Now, I’ve done this before, and usually I make sure that I look up the key combinations needed to unlock it, but for some reason, I didn’t do that today.  So I handed off the watch to my husband, and said, “guess I’m just going to run this one.”

Which gets me to my favorite sign of the day.  ”Trust your training.”  What a simple sign – not cutsy, no reference to Chuck Norris – but how very important.  I told the guy holding it that it was exactly what I needed at that moment, and I meant it.  It’s what Katie told me last night, it’s what I told myself this morning, but I just really needed that reminder.

Someone said one time that the way to live is to, “Suit up, show up, and leave the results to God.”  I suited up by training for months, even though it didn’t go the way I wanted.   But I tried to listen to my coach at Charm City Run and make the adjustments that my injury warranted.  And I showed up at the starting line, said a little prayer, and ran.  The outcome would be what it would be.

The lesson and reminder for me today – suit up and show up.  It’s not about the gadgets, it’s not about the mental game.  I have been well trained to run long distances.   Without a fancy watch, I maintained a relatively constant pace for 26.2 miles because that’s what I’ve been trained to do.  I just put one foot in front of the other, and was actually passing people, especially for the last 3 miles.

And now I have to ask the question in other aspects of my life, “where am I not trusting?” Why do I think that I am responsible for the outcomes when I’ve done everything I was supposed to do?

I love to run.  I learn lessons every time I put on my running shoes.  I’m not supposed to be able to run, much less run a marathon.  I just ran a marathon.  So what do I know?

One thing I was reminded today:  Trust your training.

It’s finally here-race day in Richmond!  After months of training,lots of loops around the track, muddy runs on the trail, long runs in Timonium  and Loch Raven  (up and down the “dam hill”),  a trip to the Under Armour headquarters (thanks UA!),  one broken scaphoid, an annoyingly persistent IT band problem, and travel interruptions, it’s time to put on my running clothes and just run. It’s going to be a beautiful day, on a lovely course with the trees in the height of color, at the “world’s friendliest” marathon.

I won’t be running alone, either.  I’ll bring with me the awesome coaches (especially Ericka) from Charm City Run, all the friends I’ve made in my training groups, my friends and family.  The supportive emails, FB messages and texts (especially from the girls) will all travel te 26.2 miles with me.  The great last email from Shelton, putting the whole thing in perspective.  My friend Katie who will be here on the half marathon course and at the finish line (she’ll have plenty of time to shower, change, and check out of the hotel!)  And then there’s my amazing husband, who will be stalking me on a bike, the ultimate cheerleader.  How can I not be thrilled to be running today?

I was brought back to reality at dinner last night.  My last few runs have been great – it took 4 months, but at last I felt that all the parts were moving together.  While I talked about all the runs were that wasn’t the case, Katie kept bringing back to the ones for which it was.  After one kinesio taping meltdown (sorry, Joe!), I slept pretty well and I woke up ready to do this thing.

Lingering doubts melted away when I popped onto Facebook (who doesn’t at 4:45am?) and saw this post from my friend Kerry.  I remembered that right now, everything is exactly as it should be:

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Is 40:31

Let’s do this thing!

Richmond Marathon Course Visualization

I’m paralyzed with fear.  Overwhelmed.  Feeling a little sick to my stomach.

It’s 23 days until my next marathon, and I feel like the whole idea is just too much.  It seems like I’ve been training forever, but that my progress has been nil. Starts… and…stops… and…travel… and…heat… and…pain… and…yadda…yadda…yadda.

23 day and counting.

So that’s where my thinking has been for a while.  Every day, I try to ignore the countdown widget on my cell phone.  I just look at the day’s calendar and try to figure out when I can possibly squeeze in the scheduled workout.  Now, I find myself on a long flight back from Phoenix, and I realized that the ebook I wanted to read isn’t synced on my laptop.  So I just picked up on the book I had available:  Switch:  How to Change When Change is Hard, by Chip and Dan Heath.  Hrrrrmph.

I think I have wanted to sulk and fret and basically beat up on myself for a while now.  I’m not sure why that is, but there it is.  I have not yet gotten “into the groove” with my training.  I want that feeling, but the reality is that it’s just not there right now.  The challenge is to change my perspective and expectations so that I can do what I really want to do.  And that, my friends, falls into the category of “change when change is hard.”

Of course, as the universe would have it, I read just those sections of the book that I needed right now.  First, there was the part where they discuss that negative feelings constrict my entire world view .  When I am in fear, all I become razor focused on the negative.  When I experience a positive emotion, I expand mentally and emotionally.  I know from experience that if I focus on feelings of pain or hopelessness or inadequacy, I see/feel/hear/think of nothing else.  I see only what I can’t do – not what I can.  Often, that translates into a shortened training run, which virtually guarantees my fear of inadequacy on race day.   On the contrary, when I feel relaxed and confident, when I’m seeing the trees and sky and hearing the birds, I find the miles just go by.  And isn’t that why I run???

Then, of course, I had to read the part that I could have written so I can remember that it applies to me, too.  In fact, I probably have written it as a suggestion to many a friend.  It’s all about breaking big objectives into micro-milestones.  How many times do I tell people that I set my watch to only see the mile that I’m currently running?  It’s all about the quick wins, the mini-accomplishment that starts the snowball down the mountain.

I get what I need, and I needed those reminders tonight on this bumpy flight home.  I’ll do another 20-miler this weekend, just one mile – or one minute – at a time.  I’ll try to remember to celebrate the quick wins, then do them again.

I don’t know if the Heath Brothers meant their book as an inspiration to a frustrated runner, but tonight, that’s exactly what it was.  Let’s get this Elephant moving, and Ride it to the finish line!

“Every time I go out there, I win. Every time I finish the task that I’ve set before myself, I win again.”—-David James Elliott, actor

I haven’t posted in what seems like forever because this training session has not gone the way I wanted.  I feel like I don’t just hit the wall, I slam in before I even get a good start.  So this quote – the day before a half-marathon for which I feel completely unprepared – is a good reminder.

So I’m going to get a good night’s rest, and win twice tomorrow.

Check out all the cool items available online at http://www.liftyoursole.com/

Why is that picture in my mind this morning?  Marathon training has begun.  I took two months off this year, and had some sort of delusion that I could just pick up where I left off.  Oops.  We had a time trial last night, and I went out at my usual pace.  Let’s just say I didn’t finish at my usual pace.

I have a choice.  I allow myself to get discouraged or I can see what I need to do and take appropriate corrective actions.  I have the same issues in other parts of my life right now where I’m not exactly happy with my results.  In each case, I have a choice.  I can sit and complain or I can take corrective action.

I’m not happy with the status quo.  It’s time to reset.

Renaissance…Rebirth!

The reality is that I didn’t want to run a race where I was going to be disappointed in my time.  My ego wants to see an ever-improving speed trend, not a glad-I-finished result.

Fortunately  I had made a commitment to ride to the race and run with friends.  My husband had offered to make a post-run breakfast for us.    And then -that final straw-I read that Facebook post from the organizers,”…Remember Saturday is not about the finish line. It’s about the courage of stepping up to the start line…”

So I stepped up to the starting line, friends beside me.  We each had different goals for the run.  Mine were simple: run the whole race and  finish the race with your friends.

Mission accomplished.  One friend set a 10-mile PR, and – if her pre-race comments are to be believed – ran a pace 30 seconds below what she expected.  The other pushed through the late hills after only minimal training, and even then with a max distance of 5 miles.  It was an honor to run with them by my side.

So what’s next?  Actually, I was supposed to have my first long slow run with the marathon training group on Saturday, but ran my 10 miles in the race instead.  I couldn’t have scripted a better way to start my training.  Not with a great PR finish, but with having the courage to step up to the starting line.

“It is very rewarding to feel and see progress. I am going to put my head down and keep plugging away. I believe the best is yet to come.” -Shalane Flanagan, 2^nd woman finisher at the 2010 New York City Marathon